Few Steps of Courage

This was my big moment. I would take a few steps forward, romantically descend down the stairs, and finally arrive in front of the girl I’d secretly been fond of for the past six months. Then, I would, gently, ask her out, which then I was pretty sure that she would answer “yes,” since her friends had already given me the cues. So, everything was set-and-awaiting for my moves. I took a deep breath, and tried to accomplish step one: taking the few steps. However, I realized that I couldn’t. My feet was stuck to the ground and refused to budge. My heart was pounding like a big bass drum, producing heartbeats so fast that my chest hurt and I felt as if I was going to suffocate. My different body parts disobeyed the orders of the brain, as if they were trying to dissent in one voice: “We can’t do this! We’re too scared!” I struggled to fight off their insubordination, repeating over and over again in my mind, “I’m not running away again! Move, you stupid feet! Move…!”

My story of this big moment all began when my friends suggested that I ask June-Jung, the girl in my class who I’d had a crush on, out on the night of the party we were planning to throw on the coming Friday. I rejected the idea at the spot, because I had been an average boy who was too timid to carry out such an extraordinary proposal. Some of you may wonder “what’s the big deal” about asking a girl out, but back then I was only 13, and in abstinent Korea asking somebody out was a big deal according to our social norms.

Nevertheless, my friends persistently persuaded me. They explained to me how that night was my perfect timing, needless to mention that it was my one and only chance, and so it was “now or never.” They also reminded me of the good chance I had of succeeding, since she was more intimate with me than anybody else in school. Nonetheless, I didn’t budge, and one of my annoyed friends complained, “C’mon, Hyung Seok! Are you going to chicken out again?”

His last words struck me really hard. Until that point, I knew I had run away from difficult, nervous moments in my life. When put up to challenging situations, I was afraid of nervousness I’d have to bear and the embarrassment of failure I’d have to face, so I chose to “chicken out” of events in which I had to deliver public speeches or ride the Gyro Drop in the Lotte Amusement Park. And yet, I had been considering myself as a person who knew the lesson of the saying, “Better to fail than to give up without trying.” I was abashed at both having been a coward all along and never realizing it. I decided to be a man.

But when I was put in the situation where I had to take “the few steps,” I was painfully regretting my bravado. Just around the corner, June-Jung would be waiting at the bottom of the staircase, having been told by my friends that this was some kind of event her secret Prince Charming had prepared for her. As helpers of my romance, my friends and her friends altogether would be surrounding her in a circle, waiting for me to appear at the top of the stairs. Therefore, I had to get down there; or else, I would face the utmost humiliation and misery of letting everybody, including myself, down.

However, the immeasurable pressure I’d put upon myself seemed to hold my feet back even more. About a million thoughts coursed through my head in less than a minute, which felt like about a hundred years. At last, I was exhausted due to the extreme nervousness, and finally gave up thinking. I stopped worrying about the hypothetical consequences of the actions that I didn’t even carry out yet.

Then I summoned all my courage, and commanded, for the last time, my feet to move. Surprisingly, this time, they obeyed. And after I took my first few steps, everything afterwards was so easy. My feet didn’t stop after they made their start, and they took me to my girl, whom I confidently asked out and who shyly answered, “Yes.” The entire process was as smooth as it was romantic.

From my big moment, I earned something more than just the heart of my love; I learned my “big lesson.” At the very instant when I was trembling with anxiety behind the staircase, assuming the worst of every possible scenario didn’t help me at all. Instead, when I emptied my mind and plucked out the courage to simply take the first few steps, I could achieve my goal. I learned that, to overcome difficulties, I only needed the “few steps of courage” to begin my challenge; after that, the remainder of the task could be easily completed.

So thereafter, I don’t avoid tough circumstances anymore; I confront them. When I have to make public speeches in front of a massive audience, or when I have to get on that Gyro Drop to plunge 78 meters, I think of my valuable lesson and tell myself, “Come on, just empty your mind and take the first few steps!” When I do exactly so, I am no longer scared. Then, believing in myself, I bravely march to the podium or to the horrendous vehicle.

And that has made a great difference.







This is my essay on the topic of "romance" in my 30 things. I intentionally left out any images or videos to preserve the authenticity of the essay.